October 06, 2002 @ 6:09 pm
i am just a worthless liar.

so. the truth finally comes out.

i'm a slut. a whore. a bitch. a liar. whatever you want to call it.

i just told geoff...

i'm nearly ashamed to say it.

he thought i was lying, because it seems rather outlandish. but really. i've been sleeping with mike since march.

let the hate mail begin.

i know i hurt him. there's no excuse.

i'm gonna go drink myself retarded and cry and feel sorry for myself, because that's all i'm good for.

because nothing is truth anymore.

one of these days i'll drink myself to death. and you'll finally be rid of me, and i'll finally be off your mind.

maybe tonight, and then you can go on with your life.

because i wanted you to be happy. i wanted you to feel everything i did.

i wanted you to be happy, and i just tore down everything i built up.

you see, now the regret hits. i just hit the wall, and my knuckles came back bloody, and i know i deserve that.

i deserve the things mom and paul called me before i left. i deserve to be called a slut by my mother and her boyfriend. a whore. a bitch. a worthless liar. a failure. a loser.

////two pills just weren't enough. the alarm clock's going off. but you're not waking up. this is not happening. it is./////

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October 06, 2002 @ 2:53 am
for every time you ever....

i cut myself for every time you called me a liar. (retroactively, as well.)

my leg is raw. pigfucker.

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